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Idiots Guide to AFD...
Jan. 17th, 2005 @ 05:14 pm Sunnydale...
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Some things never change. Sunnydale looks the same since the last time I made an appearance here. Those were very different circumstances though. Then, I was returning in the hopes of making my way back into Willow's life. That ended as quite a disaster with me wolfing out and trying to eat her girlfriend. Not to mention my being taken captive by the Initiative. It was hard to leave this town after all that I'd lost, but this time I'm coming back with a new sense of peace.

Since I've been gone, I traveled to South America and ended up spending a lot of time with a small group of villagers in Ecuador. I improved my Spanish as well as learned massive control over my inner wolf. I was impressed by the village elders' knowledge of werewolves. I learned that wanted or not, the wolf is a part of who I am and as soon as I truly accepted this, I was able to gain control. I started being capable of holding memories of being in wolf form. And I could also force the change back even under stress-producing situations that would normally cause me to lose control. Over time, I've even learned how to control myself while in wolf form. Embracing the fact that I am part beast has given me a lot of peace within. The only effect I don't particularly like is being more in touch with my wolf can cause my eyes to darken at unusual times. But I can live with that.

So I'm back. Despite the Hellmouth, this place has always been the only home I've ever known. I figure I can attempt to enroll in a few classes over at UC Sunnydale. Better late then never. I've toyed with the idea of getting back in touch with my old friends, but haven't taken an active part in doing that yet. It's not like the town is all that big. I'm sure to run into them. I don't want to intrude on their lives, but I wouldn't mind finding out if I still have any friends around here.

I don't really have a place to stay, so I'm staying at the local motel. It's cheap and it shows. Things seem quiet. Guess I'll get out of here a while, see what's happening around town.

I climbed into my van and pulled out of the motel parking lot, heading for the center of town.
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Jan. 14th, 2005 @ 07:40 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: scaredscared
It was dark, but then again Mommy and Daddy had taken away his nighlight. They brokeded it and my Willow and Jesse and me were saving up money to buy another one. So it was dark, and my bed smelled funny.

I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes with my fists and then frowned at the dark covers, this wasn't my *bed*. I looked to my side at the person there and kinda scared like poked them in the shoulder. That wasn't Willow! It was a big lady.

I was a big boy so I didn't cry, I felt my bottom lip shiver like it did right before my eyes got all shiny and stingy wet but I didn't cry. I was big now. I was smart, I moved my foot and held on tighly to the covers before kicking and pulling the covers at the same time.

But something else was wrong, the big lady was out of my not mine bed but my foot was big...and I made my eyes tight, Willow called it 'squinting' one time. So I squinted at my foot and then I heard my sniffles start as I looked at my hands. They were wrong and big like a mans, a *real* man like daddy. I didn't want to be like daddy yet!

I scrambled out of my bed and zoomed as fast as I could to the bathroom. It was icky and it had girly stuff all around it. But I didn't care about the funny looking bottles because I was too busy looking in the mirror.

I stared and the big man stared back. I wiggled my eyebrows, and the big man wiggled his. I stuck out my tongue and he stuck *his* tongue back out at me! I was a big boy, and big boys don't cry do they? Then I looked down and my eyebrows did the lifting thing like rockets. WHOOSH! *Every* thing was bigger.

But my lip was shaking again and my eyes were stinging and my face was getting all wrinkling as I made my crying yelling noise. I tried to make it not so loud by covering my mouth, but then my snot and crying water and everything was going through my fingers and I sniffled and screamed louder.
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Jan. 10th, 2005 @ 01:55 pm Welcome to bazarro land…
Current Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
After Willow’s little comment in the kitchen nearly brought me to tears I discarded the plan of making pancakes, trashed everything and put cereal, bowls and milk on the table before heading up stairs to shower and get dressed. I have to admit I was more then a little hurt at her comment. Overcook the pancakes? I’ve been cooking and making them since I was seven with my mother. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me, maybe except my father. I didn’t expect it from anyone else, especially not Willow.

What else wasn’t she telling me? What else did I do that she didn’t like? Did she always want to snap at me like that?

It’s amazing how insecure a few words could make someone. Just thinking about that made my stomach ache and my heart hurt.

I nervously chewed my lip and headed into the bedroom that Willow and I shared and stood in front of the dresser to pull out some clothes. After a few moments I settled on a pair of jeans and a navy blue long sleeved T-shirt.

I headed into the shower and got the water hot, which in this house was a surprise, usually Dawnie used up all the hot water and the rest of us were forced to take tepid showers. I quickly got in and enjoyed the rare treat while trying to rid the ache in my gut by her harsh words.

I blinked a few times before washing my face, willing myself not to cry or continue to be upset as I was. Taking a deep breath I washed my face and hair before doing anything else I needed.

I heard a commotion downstairs when I was coming out of the bathroom and I quickly put on my clothes and hurry out into the hall. “Willow? What’s going on?” Before she can answer Dawnie runs past me – not seeing me – down the stairs and then back up into Buffy’s room.

I slowly walk into Buffy’s room, confusion written clearly on my face. “Dawn? W-what’s going on.” I look at the woman on the bed with slight alarm. “Who are you? Why are you up in…” I look at the woman more closely, not paying attention to her physical presence but her essence. “Buffy?” I turn my head towards the door. “Willow? Sweetie…you might w-want to come up here…” I turned back to look into the room. “We’ve got a p-roblem…”

[Open to all in the house]
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Jan. 4th, 2005 @ 08:59 am No Bloody Way
Current Mood: shockedshocked
I woke up with a groan, the bottle slipping from my hand and hitting the floor with a thunk. Didn't quite make it to the bed, but the nice flat surface I had managed to drape across had served my purpose just well, and now I was waking up because something was pressing into my chest quite painfully.

Rolling over, I glared at the ceiling of the crypt. No self respecting vampire woke up at 10 bloody 30 in the morning. Stupid humans, keeping me up all hours of the day and then expecting my help during the night. Wankers.

I had swung by the Magic Box to get my nightly entertainment, talk and tease the bit...snark at the whelp, say hello to the witches, annoy the watcher...and if Buffy just happened to be there, it would've been the perfect opportunity for me to - nevermind, everything went to hell after some swooning vampire commited suicide by stepping into the shop. Then the little midget demon bint showed up, did a little song number and made with the dramatic exit leaving the happy meals to stare and then start talking amongst themselves. Right then. Non verbal communication : Sod off Spike, yer not wanted here.

But now, I was just laying there, stone pressing against my skin and a hangover just flirting with my conciousness. Sitting up I closed my eyes, running a hand through my hair and reaching down to retrieve my bottle.I thought I saw a little more in it, but as I bent over, something brushed against my thighs and I felt it.

I could feel my eyes widen, like one of those annoying japanese whatsacallits than Xan was fond of watching, and my hands flew my chest and squeezed. Now see, that should've given me a clue right then and there, but noooo. I've been wasted too many evenings to trust what I thought my hands were feeling.

Standing up, I glanced down my body and let out a tiny yelp. My hands flew to my fly, unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans shakily. As my pants slid down my legs, I stared with horror. There was a pause before I screamed, then clutched my throat. "Bloody.." Swallowing I went wide eyed again. Was that my voice?! Was *that* my voice? I sounded, like...

I don't know how many minutes later it was but, after panicking at my need to tighten my belt to keep my now baggy jeans up, swearing, and then staring at the tit distortion of my shirt...I was down in the sewers and running. Okay, where to go...where to go..."Fuck it, Sod it, Fuck it, Sod it..." I don't rightly know what I was saying but several hundred 'sod it's later I finally came to the decision that...Red and Glenda had fiddled around with the girly magicks and somehow, somehow they were responsible for this.

Blanket draped over my head, I found myself banging at the Slayer's door.
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