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Jan. 4th, 2005 @ 08:59 am No Bloody Way
Current Mood: shockedshocked
I woke up with a groan, the bottle slipping from my hand and hitting the floor with a thunk. Didn't quite make it to the bed, but the nice flat surface I had managed to drape across had served my purpose just well, and now I was waking up because something was pressing into my chest quite painfully.

Rolling over, I glared at the ceiling of the crypt. No self respecting vampire woke up at 10 bloody 30 in the morning. Stupid humans, keeping me up all hours of the day and then expecting my help during the night. Wankers.

I had swung by the Magic Box to get my nightly entertainment, talk and tease the bit...snark at the whelp, say hello to the witches, annoy the watcher...and if Buffy just happened to be there, it would've been the perfect opportunity for me to - nevermind, everything went to hell after some swooning vampire commited suicide by stepping into the shop. Then the little midget demon bint showed up, did a little song number and made with the dramatic exit leaving the happy meals to stare and then start talking amongst themselves. Right then. Non verbal communication : Sod off Spike, yer not wanted here.

But now, I was just laying there, stone pressing against my skin and a hangover just flirting with my conciousness. Sitting up I closed my eyes, running a hand through my hair and reaching down to retrieve my bottle.I thought I saw a little more in it, but as I bent over, something brushed against my thighs and I felt it.

I could feel my eyes widen, like one of those annoying japanese whatsacallits than Xan was fond of watching, and my hands flew my chest and squeezed. Now see, that should've given me a clue right then and there, but noooo. I've been wasted too many evenings to trust what I thought my hands were feeling.

Standing up, I glanced down my body and let out a tiny yelp. My hands flew to my fly, unbuttoning and unzipping my jeans shakily. As my pants slid down my legs, I stared with horror. There was a pause before I screamed, then clutched my throat. "Bloody.." Swallowing I went wide eyed again. Was that my voice?! Was *that* my voice? I sounded, like...

I don't know how many minutes later it was but, after panicking at my need to tighten my belt to keep my now baggy jeans up, swearing, and then staring at the tit distortion of my shirt...I was down in the sewers and running. Okay, where to go...where to go..."Fuck it, Sod it, Fuck it, Sod it..." I don't rightly know what I was saying but several hundred 'sod it's later I finally came to the decision that...Red and Glenda had fiddled around with the girly magicks and somehow, somehow they were responsible for this.

Blanket draped over my head, I found myself banging at the Slayer's door.
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Date:January 4th, 2005 09:56 am (UTC)
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Tara was more of a morning person than I was. That wasn't saying much, because I just plain wasn't a morning person. So I let Tara get up after kissing her good morning, and I lingered bed for a while. It seemed like an ordinary day, but... there was something a bit different. Sort of... the feeling you get around magick using demons, or a ritual in motion. I dismissed it - maybe my hormones were just going haywire, there were days when I was more magically intuned, and days where I just was dead to it.

Walking into the kitchen, dressed in my fluffy dressing gown and slippers after having a shower, I smiled to see Tara in the kitchen making breakfast. Grinning, I snuck up behind her and kissed her cheek, barely hearing Dawn as she suddenly zinged in and then out to wake up Buffy. "Why is she so damn hyper in the morning?" I asked rhetorically, as I watched Tara do the pancakes. "You'd thing she'd be used to just not by now. Oh, honey, maybe they're ready." And then, it felt as if my mouth was working on it's own. "I really hate it when you overcook them, learning how to cook before cooking is definitely a plus."

In truth, I barely noticed, before blinking, fingertips brushing my lips. That was mean. I hadn't meant to say it. "Hey, I didn't-"

The frantic knocking at the front door stopped me from apologising. Wincing, I quickly went to answer it. By the sound of it, it was Spike trying to escape from the sunlight. Making sure my dressing gown was secure, I ran to the door and opened it, watching as the steaming covered-by-thick-blanket figure ran in, throwing said blanket down annoyedly before looking at me.

"Oh, hot girl. You have great boobs." I clapped my hand over my mouth, wide eyed. What the fuzzy?
Date:January 4th, 2005 11:10 am (UTC)
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Finally, somebody opened the damn door. Took their sweet time didn't they. I started to glare my best glare at Red, but she opened her mouth and I felt myself blink...3 times. Pointing at her accusingly, my finger trembled slightly. "What the hell did you do to me?"

Maybe it was a little unfair to the witch, but I woke up with no dick and tits...which she complemented. I felt justified in my accusation. Who else would want to even accidentally turn me into a woman?

"I woke up, slightly wasted, and get out of bed..well off of a stone slab and I have breasts and something very important is missing.." I could feel my voice raising both in volume and in pitch. "And it's all your fault!"

My hands flew to my throat and I looked at her trying not to look pityful and going for an intimidating...outraged glower that I think came out as a 'woe as me' pout.

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Date:January 5th, 2005 10:42 am (UTC)
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... "Spike?" I asked in shock. Wow, it really was him, with hair longer than I remembered, but bleached. His cheekbones were still sharp as always but his jaw was more feminine, eyes and lips the same and unmistakably female... but unmistakably Spike. And he... she... he... was hot. Even in clothes that didn't fit properly and a rough girl voice. And he... she... he... was pouting. I could hear Dawnie yelling but really, Spike-female was too fascinating.

"Tara!" I yelled, though not taking my eyes off Spike. "Go check on Dawn, okay honey?" I was even forgetting how weird it was to say stuff I didn't want to say... but not that much. "Okay, um, come in, things around here have been a bit weird lately, but, uh, just be calm okay?"
Date:January 6th, 2005 08:14 am (UTC)
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Tugging on a longer strand of hair in annoyance, I idly crossed an arm over my midsection. No I was not hugging myself. "Calm down?" I had to ask incredulously. "Calm down?!" I paced, ignoring the yelling and the talking going on in other parts of the house. "Weird she says? To wake up missing vital part of your anatomy is *weird' and then calm down she says...calm down?!"

Back and forth, back and forth I paced, occasionally standing still so I didn't look like a panicky git...bitch...whatever, I continued. "When I have me dick back where it belongs and.." I grabbed and squeezed my new chest additions. "And these gone, then I'll calm down."

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Date:January 20th, 2005 01:58 am (UTC)
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"Yeah, well, to get certain things back and certains things awya, you'll have to calm down!" I squeaked. Angry Spike, female or male, was intimidating. But... oh gods, he looked... oh gods... I bit my bottom lip. Please don't be angry at me. Please, I just can't... I started giggling, just quick muffled snickers before it became a bit more uncontrollable. I was trying not to, but for some reaosn I just couldn't not laugh, this time. Clasping my hand over my mouth didn't work because... Spike! Was a girl!

I heard people calling for me and I gulped in air to call back. "Okay, just a sec!"
Date:January 26th, 2005 05:59 am (UTC)
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That was more like it, still the big bad wasn't I, tits or no. But wait, the evil bint was laughing. My eyes widened a bit and I threw my hands up in exasperation. Laughing. At me.

I stomped towards her, vampiric grace be damned, my movements had the right to be petulant, invading her personal space I scowled and then blinked looking down. This didn't work so well as a woman. Backing up a few steps, mildly disturbed by the breast brushing and there was give and softness and ick and ack.

"Stops laughing you dosy *cow*, it's not funny damnit!"